The Seven Principles of Self Love ~ Principle #5: Know Your Self Worth
April 12, 2016 | by Michelle Meier
When we come back to self love, everything else falls into place. You are signaling to the Universe that you are open and ready to receiving love, joy and abundance. But what does it really mean to love yourself? How do you actually do it??
Coming out of this past week with Principle #4: Discipline Yourself proved more challenging than I thought. There are so many hopes and dreams I have...to fall in love and marry, start a family, create workshops and publish books to successfully help others on their own paths, to travel, to continue nurturing my relationships with friends and family, and to thoroughly enjoy the beauty, magic and adventures of life.
Sometimes I find myself trying so hard that I fall back in the opposite direction. In the direction of "I'm too tired of the struggle." "I don't wanna do anything!!" "I just wanna stay in bed all day." I've hoped and wished and prayed and knocked on countless doors. "Life shouldn't be so hard." Well, it isn't. It's only we who make it harder on ourselves.
It reminds me to come back to my New Year's mantra to "let go and let God".
Discipline is important to achieve our goals. For instance if I want to publish a book, I have to keep writing and I have to get out there and knock on more doors to get it published. There are actionable steps we can take to progress towards our goals.
But with discipline must also come faith. When we push too hard with discipline sometimes we miss Divine guidance, we miss our intuition telling us to go talk to that person we spotted across the room at an event, we miss the inspiration that strikes us in the middle of the night, tearing us out of a wildly soul-clenching dream.
Sometimes we believe that only good things can come when we have struggled and fought tooth and nail for it. What if good things just landed in our laps? Would it feel too good to be true?
This brings us to this week's THE 7 PRINCIPLES OF SELF LOVE, PRINCIPLE #5:
KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH.
Because if we think it's too good to be true for good things to just come to us so easily, then on some level do we also believe that we don't deserve it?
So often we put value into the physical and external sources in our life: money, beauty, status, our partners. But what happens when we lose our jobs? When we age? When someone stronger, smarter and younger replaces us? When someone we love breaks our heart or leaves us? Suddenly we feel worthless.
This is why it's so important to learn to love ourselves, as we are in this very moment without any frills, bells and whistles on. Who are we at the core and can we value that?
I recently took an insightful workshop with Alexandra Kontos, Founder of Embrace the Esquire, about mastering the mindset of money for female entrepreneurs. So often we sell ourselves short and it boiled down to learning to value ourselves.
She shared with us that every night before bed she lists 3 ways she brought value to others that day. Maybe it was teaching someone how to use social media. Maybe it was making the cashier at Publix smile. Maybe it was opening the door for the elderly man struggling with his walker.
I sat up straight and alert when she said this. I recalled that, while in the Self-Expression and Leadership program at Landmark this year, we were asked to list and turn in our accomplishments every week to our coaches and, every week, I had trouble handing something in.
I recognized that my idea of "success" and "accomplishment" had to be something with a paycheck attached to it. While beliefs like this can be handed down from our parents, it doesn't matter the source. What matters is who we are now and what we're going to do about it.
Placing value in ourselves is sometimes difficult and awkward. We're afraid to be too proud. We're afraid to come off as being pompous or self-centered.
But when we learn to see the value in ourselves, we can begin to see the value in others. And we realize we are all connected. There is no competition. There is no envy. There is no one person better than another. We each have something unique and powerful to contribute to our families, our loved ones, our communities, to this planet.
God is the Universe. God is Love. And we are made in the image of God. When we recognize this, how can we not value ourselves and our unique contribution to this world?
"Self-worth is so vital to your happiness. If you don't feel good about YOU, it's hard to feel good about anything else."